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Lost Your Sense of Wonder? How to Reclaim Curiosity and Crush Your Dreams (Even as an Adult!)
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
– Nelson Mandela
Being a dad has triggered the inner child in me. As I see my kids discover their surroundings, I am proud and impressed by their “I don’t give an eff!” attitude in their lives.
Pause. Breathe. Let me explain.
Noah (5 years old) and Elijah (3 years old) are just kids: They try, they fail, they cry, and they start over. They don’t fear being judged. And when I give them feedback on how to do things, they just apply it and move on.
Deep down, I am kind of jealous of such courage in children. Then it begs the question:
Where is my inner child?
I kind of know the answer. He has been suffocated by adult stuff: 9-5 routines, dad responsibilities, and adulthood spotlight effect (fear of judgment).
I know that the candle is still sitting there inside me. All I need is a light and a guide to reach out and reignite that spark again.
Here are the five culprits of that downfall:
- The Loss of Play and Curiosity
- The Stories You Tell Yourself
- The Fixed Mindset Trap
- Losing Touch with Your Curiosity
- The Fear of Failure
Are you ready to bring them back?
I am talking about a growth mindset, non-limiting beliefs, and the curiosity for exploration.
If that sounds like you, continue reading. Don’t let that inner child down. They are your “superhero you” to reclaim your curiosity and maybe achieve those dreams.
Yes, I say maybe. The outcome is not guaranteed, but I guarantee you that you will become a better being on the way.
1. The Loss of Play and Curiosity
As you grow, everything just works. Even holidays require so much work: planning, optimizing, and all about ROI (Return On Investment).
Work is just a repeat of a daily grind. Your life, in general, is a void filled with disenchantment.
Long story short, you have lost your curious gaze and are disconnected from the universe’s symphony.
You have tucked away two magical capes: inspiration and fulfillment. You eat a “safe” job while drowning in a passionless sea of meaninglessness. You have killed the student in you and put your challenges on the blocklist of your mind.
Life is a game. Life is not a finite game. Life is an infinite game. There is no winning or losing. There is just playing. Dance like a child. Paint like a child. Smile like a child.
It is not about impressing others. It is about expressing yourself. Now.
Mbona, Mbona, Mbona, Mbona and Mbona.
Why, you said?
Exactly: Mbona means why in Swahili. And there are your Five-whys, like your younger self used to ask.
Another secret: every challenge in your life is an opportunity in disguise. Always ask questions from a place of clarification or curiosity.
Don’t be that kid who used to bully other kids in the playground of life. Be willing to experiment, learn, and grow.
2. The Stories You Tell Yourself
Every day, you tell yourself stories. You are not enough? A self-fulfilling story. You cannot do it? A self-fulfilling story. The world is all doom and gloom? A self-fulfilling story.
Those stories are the prophecies of your life. They shape your perception of the world. They are the foundations of the way you act and react.
Do you often feel like a victim of the universe's unfairness? Look in the mirror.
Do you feel like giving up easily? Look in the mirror.
Do you feel like the rest of the universe is controlling you? That is kind of true. But only 90% of the time. The rest is in your hands, specifically those of your mind.
Stop telling stories where you are a helpless victim. Start telling stories where you are overcoming obstacles and moving the narrative of your life forward. Stop the imitation game.
Can you not tell those stories? You don’t have to do it alone. Surround yourself with people who share positive and empowering stories about themselves and the universe.
Read books about those who have made it. Connect with mentors who will help you make a breakthrough, not just a drive through your life's journey.
Remember: it is never about the destination. It is about the journey and who you become all along. The prize is a not-so-guarantee that perfection will be reached. The present is the gift of progress every day.
It is not about the height of the mountain. It is the courage to make the first step, and then another, and another. Every single day.
3. The Fixed Mindset Trap
Your fixed mindset is the only thing set in stone, not your abilities or intelligence. You are not a tree. You can move somewhere else and seek new horizons.
Often, you avoid challenges or new experiences. You feel like you are not enough to achieve what other ordinary people are achieving. You might even think that those who are more successful are just born with their grit and talent.
Allow me to be your dream crusher for once: you are in a nightmare. Most of those people come from planet Earth. Yes, some have an unfair advantage. Yet most of them developed those skills through effort and a positive mindset.
You cannot become anyone in life—that is a lie. What you can become is a better version of yourself today than yesterday. Create systems, focus on the process, and do your reps.
Yes, you are not a tree. But you can grow and thrive as one unique tree: the growth mindset one.
Move far away from the shades of one tree: your comfort zone. Yes, it is comfortable and empty of surprises, but nothing about you will thrive under those shades.
Maybe you are a human tree. Seek some sunlight, some rain, and wind. You will grow if you can find fertile soil for your soul.
4. Losing Touch with Your Curiosity
You are a character in a movie. Spoiler alert: the movie of your life. Don’t be that character in a poorly scripted movie: a character only trying to meet external desires from the rest of the universe.
Don’t forget your intrinsic desires and needs. Look inside out, not the other way around. After all, a light shines from within.
You might feel lost in translation. Nothing excites you or motivates you. You have outsourced making decisions about your life direction or career.
Start talking to that inner child. Ask them about their passion, how they find joy daily, and what nurtures their imagination. Listen carefully. Write it down. And apply those recipes now.
Yes, everything has been said, done, and recorded. But nothing has been said, done, or recorded from your perspective based on your unique experiences in your era.
Be unconventional, like death. Spare no are unexplored in your mind.
Don’t follow the ice cream truck. I have heard that he is a killer, Dexter told me. The one being you must follow without any judgment is your curiosity.
Read some books suggested by your curiosity. Reach out to communities that practice activities that piqued your interest.
Choose to be blindly guided by the can of your curiosity. Can you? Yes, you can.
5. The Fear of Failure
Every day, you take a sip of that powerful poison, that Khaleesi of dream killers: your fear of failure. It is said that fear of failure has killed more people than death.
It has those power claws that cut through you: rejection, embarrassment, and what other people think.
You have been playing it safe. You follow the rules to the millimeter. You never take the road of challenges. You don’t want to risk having new opportunities. After all, you might fail.
You are a perfect procrastinator. You are the one queen who rules them all: the Preparer. Yesterday, you were getting ready. Today, you are getting ready for tomorrow.
Tomorrow never comes.
You would rather fail by default than risk a temporary failure.
Failure is a frame constructed by others to fool you. Reframe it as learning. Et voilà! No more failure for the rest of your life.
The bridge to success is built by the bricks of failure.
Should you risk it all because of a random guy on the internet (yep, that‘s me.) who said so?
Absolutely not. What you can do, though, is take some calculated risks. That is said again by the same random guy on the internet. That is a nice Koan (double bind) for you.
You can take small risks where the consequences can be reversed or are not reckless. Yet the rewards can be significant.
Ask for that promotion. Ask out that crush of yours. Keep your well-paying 9-5 job and risk being a solopreneur (That is me on me: walking my own talk.)
Don’t wait for that big destination before celebrating. You may never reach it. Death is a bitch. Or Karma. I mean, you know the drill.
Celebrate every small victory, every single day. Celebrate progress over perfection. A step forward is worth a thousand smiles.
Every setback is a step back to the path of your better self. Be a daily victor and not a life victim.
Final Thoughts
You finally made it. You brought back your younger self from the ashes of your imagination. It is not a one-time strike.
Life will strike back and bury them again because that is the way of life. Only impermanence is constant.
Let go of the following:
- The Loss of Play and Curiosity
- The Stories You Tell Yourself
- The Fixed Mindset Trap
- Losing Touch with Your Curiosity
- The Fear of Failure
Embrace the following powers:
- Joyful present
- Positive narratives
- Growth Mindset Adventures
- Inner Spark Ignition
- Joy of learning
Explore your mind. Be always ready to call the superhero in you your inner child.
Are you ready?
Take a deep breath. Breathe in. Breathe out. Open their eyes.
Rise.
Rise.
Rise.
#selfimprovement #dreamlife #growthmindset #inspiration #innerchild
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Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash
