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Discover why happiness isn't Just About Sunshine And Rainbows. Learn How To Break Free From This Cycle And Cultivate A More Meaningful Life.
"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."
– John Lennon
Believe it or not, I have fooled myself into thinking I must find happiness in life for many years. And there was even more. Not only should I find it, but I must stay there. I used to think I would do anything necessary to stay happy daily.
If we have met, you will see that I am mostly optimistic. I smile and say “Hi” in the corridors at work. I like fun to be part of my workday and my private life.
Yet the more I see what is happening around me today, the more I question my philosophy about being happy at all costs.
Yes, there have been some happy moments in my life. But the vast majority of it can be boiled down to two things: suffering and boredom.
I have been reflecting on the price I am paying to be happy at all costs. It seems that joy and happiness are just one face of the same coin of life. On the other hand, there is boredom and suffering.
In this article, we will explore and challenge the simplistic view of the pursuit of happiness. We will delve into the acceptance of suffering and boredom as the troughs to joy and happiness, the crests of the wave of existence.
1. What Is Suffering And Boredom And Why Should You Care?
Let's start with suffering.
1.1 The Suffocating Vale Of Suffering
"Life is suffering. To minimize suffering is to understand suffering."
– Gautama Buddha (Founder of Buddhism)
Behind your suffering is the sting of unfulfilled desire. Desire is that feeling of incompleteness. Incompleteness will lead you to some sense of unhappiness.
That is how funny desire is. It starts with you looking for something good to complete you. It ends with you feeling unfulfilled more than where you started.
It translates often into discomfort and physical pain, hence suffering.
I am in the middle of a new cycle at work. You see, my cycle at each job is around 3 to 4 years. Then I became bored. It is not because I have learned everything about that job. It is just because I am wired to learn constantly and to be in an environment where I can feel like a beginner again.
During that transition phase, I suffered a lot. I was starving for change. I was applying for new positions at work. Most of the time, managers ghost the candidates not hired for those positions. I felt pain for being a ghost in their eyes. I felt pain for rejection by omission.
Let’s jump into boredom.
1.2 The Boredom String Of Light
"Boredom is the feeling that time is passing you by."
– Bertrand Russell
You are generally bored because of the absence of desire and fulfillment. In other words, you get what you have been chasing for years. You sit on that throne made of all the swords of your previous suffering and say: now what?
Do you know who are the most bored people on Planet Earth?
Those born in democracies and wealthy families, mainly in Western civilizations or part of the elite in their country.
The world has never been so generous with food, shelter, and entertainment for the lucky ones.
In return, we have never been so bored that we spend our days scrolling aimlessly through social platforms. The world around us is full of magic, beauty, and wonder, but we have never been so empty inside.
We even crave suffering just to feel that pain of existence.
I got the position I am in today three years ago. Once I achieved my initial desire, the novelty wave crashed into the shores of normality.
Monotony has clouded my excitement valley. Now, I yearn for that new environment to learn and grow again.
And there you see it: I am swinging between suffering and boredom in my professional journey.
And you might think: is this all that is about existence?
2. Is There Anything In Life Beyond The Constant Swing Between Boredom And Suffering?
Either you suffer because of your desire, or you are bored because you are desireless. That is a polarizing view: seeing only the extremes of that pendulum.
Life's not about black or white. Life is in the gray area. Just ask the guy from Fifty Shades of Grey.
Life is all about finding the Middle Way, as in Buddhism.
Earlier, I stated that life has two faces: joy and happiness on one side and boredom and suffering on the other side.
I would like to revisit that assumption based on the new evidence above.
Boredom and suffering are the two faces of life, and joy and happiness are found between them.
Let me explain.
If boredom is in one extreme and suffering is in the other, what lies between is the essence and challenge of a life fully lived.
2.1 Harnessing The Power Of Suffering As A Means To Grow Through Discomfort.
"The struggle you are in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow."
– Robert Tew
Often, we see our desires as dictators telling us what we must do. They are not. Our desires are just a compass hinting at a direction we should take in life—no more, no less.
Desire is part of nature's laws. It is the fuel that propels us forward. We should not demonize it. We must use it to strive for improvement and reach our goals.
Suffering is not a prison to escape. It is a valley that makes the peak even more beautiful. It invites us to learn and grow so that we are equipped to climb towards our desired outcomes.
2.2 Embracing Boredom As A Way Embark In A Journey Of Novelty And Purpose
"You matter because you are part of a plan. You matter because you are loved. You matter because you have a purpose."
— Rick Warren
Boredom is the oxygen of life. There is no relation without boredom. There is no job without boredom. There is no meaning in life without boredom.
Life is breathing in and out boredom every day until you die. That is the way.
Being bored is great. It means that you are ready to challenge your worldview. After all, you have nothing else to do. It is an opportunity to unleash your creativity without any judgment. It is an opportunity to be a beginner again without any judgment. It is an opportunity to invest that time to help others without judgment.
Breathe novelty into your life daily. Dare to visit a new place, even in your neighborhood. Dare to learn a new skill you are not doing just because you think others will find it silly. Dare to take a new route from the office or vice versa.
You cannot discover new routes if you only take the paths others paved.
The perfect couple does not exist, for instance. Ok, maybe in Disney movies. It is all about finding a middle way between shared enjoyment and a cellular sense of identity.
Being together is more like walking in the same direction while maintaining a sustainable pace for each partner. It is more like being and letting the other person be while feeding each other light.
Being in a relationship is not about avoiding boredom and suffering at all costs. It is about acknowledging that together, you are more than the sum of your individual parts.
And there is definitely not a perfect work life. You might say, find a job you like, and you will never work in life. That is cute, like in a Marvel Movie. (Oh, Disney, again.)
Not everybody can be a CEO, an artist, a painter, or a musician. We need physicians, nurses, cleaners, farmers, and construction workers. Those are the ones who take care of the artists and the stars so that they don’t have to do “mundane jobs.” Each of us has a purpose in life, from the cleaner to the CEO. We matter. We contribute to something bigger than us in the food chain of life.
Final Thoughts
As closing thoughts, we must reflect on the constant chase of happiness between the extremes of endless suffering and total boredom.
When you spend your whole life swinging from one extreme to the other, you have missed the dance.
Life is not a bit. It is not a succession of Zeros and Ones. It is a Quantum bit or Qbit. It is a full spectrum with many shades so that you can find the one that works for you.
Suffering is not a dictator. It is a mentor who guides you and challenges you to be a better version of yourself today than yesterday.
Boredom is not a prison to be escaped. It is a present to be savored, an invitation to explore and grow.
Life lies in the middle way. Anyone telling you otherwise is lying to you. Life's not about finding happiness at the destination. Life is about seizing the joy in the present moment.
Count your blessings now. Focus on the gain and not the gap now. Start that new hobby now. Build a long-lasting impact by being part of a community now. The flow is now. The dance is now. Your power is now.
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Photo by Olivia Bauso on Unsplash
