October 1993, Dakar, Senegal, West Africa.
It was my first year in Secondary School in “Lycée Lamine Gueye” in Dakar. It was my first taste of autonomy, where I could go to school far from home without my parents’ supervision.
I had to take the “Sotrac” bus from Dieupeul Terminal to Dakar Plateau, where I used to see glimpses of big houses behind closed fences.
That is where I met Ansou, Woury, Seydou and Daba, and some other people that were my core group of friends.
At that time, we didn’t know that we would become friends for life and that our journey would bring us from a public school with broken windows in Dakar to France, Italy, and other western countries.
Meet Ansou, one of my best friends in life.
He’s living in Italy now after a challenging journey. As a result, we don’t speak that often over the phone. Yet each time we speak, he’s always positive and teasing me for constantly calling him. While people were recovering from their celebration of new year's eve, Ansou learned that his father had passed away in Dakar, Senegal.
He shared the sad news with me and told me he would leave Italy to go to Dakar, Senegal, to say goodbye to his beloved father.
Ansou is going through his Winter season in life at the beginning of 2020.
Meet Woury, one of the most mysterious friends in my life.
Woury is now living in Toulouse, in the south of France. We speak often. When he was fascinated by the magic of flying, he managed to come to France to do his engineering studies.
Now he’s working at Airbus, he’s happily married and became a father last year. But, of course, he has his personal and professional challenges. Yet he’s wealthier than he could ever have imagined. Health is the ultimate wealth for him.
Woury is going through his Summer season in life at the beginning of 2020.
Meet Seydou, the most positive friend I’ve ever had.
When I picture Seydou, I see his smile. Seydou is a friend you won’t speak to for years. He won't complain about why you didn't call him. Instead, he will act as if you talked to him yesterday.
Seydou’s father is in Dakar. He had some brain-related health issues. He decided to go to a hospital in Dakar and had brain surgery to help solve the problem. Unfortunately, nothing went as expected. Now he’s incapacitated and blind. He has lost most of his adulthood memories.
Seydou is trying to bring his father to France to help me get back what is left of his life.
Stricken by what his father has become, Seydou is going through a transformation process where he’s questioning the meaning of his life.
Seydou is going through his Autumn season in life at the beginning of 2020.
Meet Daba, one of the many African women with more grit than I’ve ever seen.
She’s living in the North of France with her family. The last time I visited her, we hadn't seen each other for more than seven years. The last time we saw each other was in Paris in 2013 to celebrate our 20 years of friendship. She shared with me some choices that she had to make in her life.
She has a lot of projects, both personally and professionally. First, she planted many seeds, and now she’s harvesting the fruit of her labor.
Daba is going through her Spring season at the beginning of 2020.
Through the four stories above, you can see that Ansou, Woury, Seydou, and Daba are in different seasons of life at the beginning of 2020.
Yet they have similar journeys in their life. They were born in Africa, migrated to Europe, and had to make their path.
What strikes me is their resilience and positive attitude toward life. We are here for each other. Those who are in the summer try to bring their support to those who are going through winter. In the spring and autumn, people support each other.
In our life span, we will go through the cycle of the four seasons, sometimes more often than once a year.
What has helped me is being surrounded by people who support each other, regardless of the season.
The stories above remind me of one speech from Steve Jobs in the 2005 Stanford Commencement Address.
“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking that you have something to lose.” Steve Jobs
For both Ansou and Seydou’s fathers, all that matters today is how they lived, how their loved ones will remember them, or how their loved ones can make them remember their life.
No matter what season you go through, know that it will pass. Surround yourself with people of all seasons.
And don’t try only to stay stuck in one season, because it will change eventually.
As my GrnaPa used today: “ You have to go through the rain to see the rainbow.”
In which of the four seasons are you right now?
What’s your favorite season and why?
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Photo by Autumn Goodman on Unsplash
